Excerpts from May 2009

Listening to: Sting & The Police

Watching: How I Met Your Mother Season 2

Quote:“If I wasn’t retarded I would have passed that.” — Jamie Kent

So rather than copy and paste over entire outdated blogs from blogspot, im just going to copy over a couple of excerpts going month by month for now. =D

Saturday May 9th 2009 — Swine Flu

You heard it people.Swine Flu. We’re all gonna die because of pigs…..cant say you saw that one coming?The mass hysteria going on about this at the moment is a bit ridiculous in my opinion.Thousands of people die from the common cold every year, ad we’re freaking out because 100 mexicans died of a specific type of flu.

The cause of all this...

They don’t exactly have the best health care in fairness.Of course they’re gonna die.Last monday America was in a mass state of panic over it, because there were 20 confirmed cases.All 20 of them were better within 2 days.

The symptoms of a cold are pretty much a runny nose, you feel unwell etc. The apparent symptoms of Swine Flu are back pains (?), a runny nose but you don’t feel unwell.As a friend of mine said “that’s fucking ridiculous, they just described every drunk person the morning after a night out.Now every person with a hangover will think they have Swine Flu”.Wise words.

Sunday May 10th 2009 — Communion Mass

“I’m staunchly atheist, I simply don’t believe in God. But I’m still Catholic, of course.” – Dara O Brien

Sitting there, counting the lights in the ceiling.Wondering how many pews there are here.Wonder how many people here feel as bored as i do.Looking at the hot older sisters sitting around me.Yes ladies and gentleman, i was bored off my arse in my first mass in about 2 to 3 years.Communion mass.It was ridiculous.I get woken up at 9 o clock, im ready to go at half 9, and then we dont have to be there til 11….sigh.

Ive got nothing against religion, but i just get so bored in mass etc, its just not for me.But i still get forced to go when the need comes.

Who Loves Ya Babe?

I suppose it was the right thing being my younger brothers communion mass, but it was horrible.I thought id get away without having to go up for communion, but no.I moped my way up to Father Chestnut and just froze.I had forgotten how to get the communion.When you were younger theyd just put it on your tongue, but there was no fucking way i was gonna stick my tongue out.Im 19 for gods sake.So i did what anyone would do.I looked him blankly in the face and put one hand out, with the other in my pocket. He handed it to me with a confused look and said the three magic words.
“Body Of Christ”.
And i was on my way back to the seat.I put the body of christ in me mouth…..and nearly got sick.
When the fuck, did the catholic church decide to start punching holes in cardboard, and then pass the leftover circles off as holy communion?ITS FUCKING CARDBOARD!I remember the old days when it was kinda soft, didnt taste too bad but it still stuck to the top of your mouth, and ya have to pick the leftover bits out cos your tongue aint doing the job.I eventually was released at 12:15 , so i could go home and drink bulmers.A lot of it.I had to wash the taste of cardboard out of my mouth.

That’s all for May!

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